Heycoolkid!

It’s hard for friends to understand when I try explaining to them this absolute nausea I feel about New Year’s Eve. I go out, I appreciate being around the friends… I’m happy enjoying the moment with them, yet in the back of my mind is a swelling sadness, a wave so huge that by the time it overtakes me a month or two will pass before receding and allowing the optimism of spring to saturate my soul and bring me to my usual upbeat-self again.

Everyone else seems to be looking forward, like the countdown signifies a new opportunity, a clean slate, a beginning in which to move in positive directions. I feel that way every day, something I’m thankful for, but not on New Year’s Eve.

It’ an ominous shadow the feeling of time. I can’t help but look back and see time wasted, friends left or lost, all the paths that felt so right, so guided,which were merely empty alleyways leading to dead ends. We’re one year closer to seeing the light of youth burnt out, one year closer to feeling the decay within us of old age, one year closer to running out of new chances and new beginnings.

So usually I put those weighted feelings to the back of my mind and I enjoy the night in the most celebrated fashion until the ball drops, then without calling attention to myself I slip away from the party and drift back home and face those feelings alone so as to not bring others down. These are internal feelings and I have no desire to project into the environment around me when it would only have a negative affect on friends who are in such rare positive form.

Here’s the what I’ll be putting on tonight once I ease my way from the celebration, slip on my headphones and pass the night with the closest of my friends. I’m sure I can’t be the only one to feel this way so in some part this playlist is for you as well.

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1. Magnolia Electric Co. – “It’s Made Me Cry”

“You can live a long time
In such a little while.”

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2. The Soiree – “Enemies”

“We just can’t account for all the waiting and delays
I swear these people know they’re settling
why stand by these words you live and breathe”

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.3. Meursault – “Another”

“You say you’re sure
though you never are
there are always reminders
that there is a start
and there is an end
and that the two bare no relation
to the time you get
to secure some some rest
and to feel that you belong.
And the sun, it may set, but it will rise again.”

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4. The Head And The Heart – “Rivers And Roads”

“A year from now we’ll all be gone
All our friends will move away
And they’re goin’ to better places
But our friends will be gone away

Nothin’ is as it has been
And I miss your face like hell
And I guess it’s just as well
But I miss your face like hell

Been talkin’ ’bout the way things change
And my family lives in a different state
If you don’t know what to make of this
Then we will not relate”

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5. The Farewell Circuit – “I Am A Ghost”

“So it seems this is all, all we can afford
and there’s no way we’ll ever make it out
this damn house, these damn walls will keep us here
so take me now, no one see’s me anyways
and I am a ghost

If you want I can show you where it all went wrong
the very spot in which the curtain got brought down”

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6. Stornoway – “Boats And Trains”

“You and me connected
Unexpected in our drifting thoughts
But you still see him
And I am sinking in the storm of separation
Blinded of my senses
By the fear of unrequited love”

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7. Jason Anderson – “Wanting and Regret”

“Let’s page through this thesaurus
And find a better synonym for ‘loss’”

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8. Nada Surf – “Inside Of Love”

“watching terrible tv
it kills all thoughts
Getting spacier than
An astronaut
Making out with people
I hardly know or like
I can’t believe what i do
Late at night”

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9. The Kays Levelle – “Aftermath”

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10. Phineas And The Lonely Leaves – “Time To Kill”

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11. The National – “Green Gloves”

“Falling out of touch with all
my friends are somewhere getting wasted
I hope they’re staying glued together
I have arms for them”

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12. Jimmy Eat World – “23″

“You’ll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I’m here, I’m now, I’m ready
Holding on tight
Don’t give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
I’ll be 23
I won’t always love what I’ll never have
I won’t always live in my regrets”

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13. Christian Hansen And The Autistics – “Normal People”

“everyone’s in such a rush
and that’s why they fuck it up
living for their coffee breaks and crying over their mistakes
but normal people make me frustrated
normal people are overrated”

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14. LCD Soundsystem – “All My Friends”

“You spent the first five years trying to get with the plan
And the next five years trying to be with your friends again”

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15. Bright Eyes – “Hit The Switch”

“Because there’s a switch that gets hit and it all stops making sense.
And in the middle of drinks maybe the fifth or sixth
I’m completely alone at a table of friends
I feel nothing for them
I feel nothing
Nothing

Well I need a break from the city again
I think I’ll ship myself back west I got a friend there, she says
“Hey, anytime”
Unless that offer’s expired  I have been less than frequent
She’s under no obligation to indulge every whim
And I’m so ungrateful, I take…  she gives and forgives
And I keep forgetting it
And each morning she wakes with a dream to describe
Something lovely that bloomed  from her beautiful mind
I said “I’ll trade you one for two nightmares of mine
I have some where I die
I have some where we all die”

I’m thinking of quitting drinking again
I know I said that a couple of times
And I’m always changing my mind. Well, I guess I am
But there’s this burn in my stomach and there’s this pain in my side
And when I kneel at the toilet and the morning’s clean light
Pours in through the window
Sometimes I pray I don’t die
I’m a goddamn hypocrite

But the night rolls around
And it all starts making sense
There is no right way or wrong way
You just have to live
And so I do what I do
And at least I exist
What could mean more than this?
What could mean more?”
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16. Counting Crows – “Holiday In Spain”

“ we could simply pack our bags
And catch a plane to Barcelona ’cause this city’s a drag”

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17. Adam Haworth Stephens – “The Miles We’ve Marched”

“and the elders leave from their mercury beds
and they’re plagued with age
and they’re spent with tread
but volumes speak of love they spilled
overflowed or overkilled
and given in to gravity
they fall so hard it hurts to see
and we’ll sweep us the ashes
spread ‘em out across the gravel range

and this burning wheel they’ve bound us to
we’ll roll on, we’ll roll on all the same”

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18. Dan Mangan – “The Indie Queens Are Waiting”

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19. The Pines – “Shiny Shoes”

“But no matter how hard you try
No, you can’t put the tears
Back into your eyes”

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20. Margot And The Nuclear So And So’s – “A Sea Chanty Of Sorts”

“and if you love ,well that should be enough
instead it turns your joy int0 sorrow
and i cant breath with the dust of retreat
im choking on the fumes of my wayward back”

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21. Death Cab For Cutie -”Brothers On A Hotel Bed”

“You may tire of me as our December sun is setting because I’m not who I used to be
No longer easy on the eyes but these wrinkles masterfully disguise
The youthful boy below who turned your way and saw
Something he was not looking for: both a beginning and an end
But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize
When he catches his reflection on accident

On the back of a motor bike
With your arms outstretched trying to take flight
Leaving everything behind
But even at our swiftest speed we couldn’t break from the concrete
In the city where we still reside.
And I have learned that even landlocked lovers yearn for the sea like navy men
Cause now we say goodnight from our own separate sides
Like brothers on a hotel bed”

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22. Accordions – “Auld Lang Syne”

Is it just me or is “Auld Lang Syne” one of the saddest songs. Why do people sing it like it’s a celebration then? Leave it to the Scots I Guess. Maybe my being scottish has something to do with my somber feelings since that’s where the song originated, maybe the answer lies somewhere in my heritage.

If you’ve never heard the actual song this is not it. This is just an INCREDIBLE song from a local band that incorporates some of the key elements and message into it.

Here’s the actual lyrics the traditional Auld Lang Syne

“Should Old Acquaintance be forgot,
and never thought upon;
The flames of Love extinguished,
and fully past and gone:
Is thy sweet Heart now grown so cold,
that loving Breast of thine;
That thou canst never once reflect
on Old long syne.

On Old long syne my Jo,
in Old long syne,
That thou canst never once reflect,
on Old long syne.

My Heart is ravisht with delight,
when thee I think upon;
All Grief and Sorrow takes the flight,
and speedily is gone;
The bright resemblance of thy Face,
so fills this, Heart of mine;
That Force nor Fate can me displease,
for Old long syne.

Since thoughts of thee doth banish grief,
when from thee I am gone;
will not thy presence yield relief,
to this sad Heart of mine:
Why doth thy presence me defeat,
with excellence divine?
Especially when I reflect
on Old long syne”

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All songs are for promotional purposes. If you or an artist you represent would like to have content removed email me at heycoolkid@yahoo.com

Tags: 23, A Sea Chanty Of Sorts, accordians, Adam Haworth Stephens, Aftermath, all my friends, Another, Auld Lang Syne, Boats And Trains, bright eyes, Brothers On A Hotel Bed, Christian Hansen And The Autistics, counting crows, dan mangan, death cab for cutie, Enemies, Green Gloves, Hit The Switch, holiday in spain, I Am A Ghost, Inside Of Love, It's Made Me Cry, Jason Anderson, jimmy eat world, LCD Soundsytem, Lyrics, Magnolia Electric Co, margot and the nuclear so and sos, Meurault, Nada Surf, Normal People, phineas and the lonely leaves, Rivers And Roads, Shiny Shoes, stornoway, The Farewell Circuit, the head and the heart, The Indie Queens Are Waiting, The Kays Levelle, The Miles We've Marched, the national, The Pines, The Soiree, Time To Kill, Wanting And Regret